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Traffic is bumper to bumper and rain is beating down on San Francisco as I attempt to speed to make my appointment with Sarah at MV Nutrition. Grandma in the blue Toyota in front of me is being extra cautious, proceeding at the slowest speed possible. Every time I try to pass grandma, she speeds up. I’m going to be late for my weigh in! I am finally able to pass her. As I pass her, she honks then flips me the bird! WTF? I think. I have to laugh it off as other thoughts and emotions swirl in my head. I keep trying to guess how much weight I may have lost over the past 3 weeks. Did I do everything possible to get the best result? Would I be disappointed? More importantly, would Sarah and Mike be disappointed?
I made it to my appointment, parked and walked the 11 flights of stairs to the appointment, a first instead of taking the elevator. I was on time, a few minutes early even. Sarah and I reviewed my food journal and talked about how to tweak my food plan. Eating 2400 calories of healthy foods a day has proven difficult for me. I have averaged about 1900/day. We talked about adding more whole grains and veggies to my lunches and discussed how I am successfully re-programming my mind and body. I have begun teaching my body that it will be getting food every 2-3 hours and it’s happy about that. Mind and body working together – seems that is what is all about, right? Mental + Physical, not Mental vs. Physical. As I step onto the scale, I think about my workouts
Mike pushed me this week farther than I ever imagined. It was damn hard. Mike again increased the weight on all of my exercises, which has happened al few times more than expected over the last 3 weeks. For 3 weeks, I had been doing dead lifts with a practice bar. This week, Mike moved to me to the “big boy bar” for my squats and dead lifts. The bar alone seemed heavier than anything else I had lifted, but I managed when he put the weights on. Pull-ups still are a struggle as are some of the other pieces of equipment at Diakadi. Who knew the EFI Total Gym equipment was such a torture device! I almost wanted to cry twice last week and this week at the gym when on that contraption but didn’t. I’ve heard many trainers love that and take joy in a newbie’s suffering on the road to health. I would not give my Trainer God the satisfaction of seeing me mentally break down. I’ve been told – Emotions are restricted at the gym! I didn’t cry at home either…but almost. Mike’s Mantra of “Balls up. Abs tight. Pull! Pull!” rings in my mind each second I am doing the routine. Could I survive another 11 months of this? Mike had faith in me and I learned this week I have to continue to have faith in myself. I had to dig deep to find the strength to get through this week and the workouts. But did I dig deep enough….?
322. The number popped up on the screen. The last time I weighed 322 was probably when I was 25. I said…WTF? …umm, ok. I wasn’t jumping for joy to be honest with you. Sarah seemed happy but I guess I was expecting more…I mean 3 weeks of eating healthy eating combined with all of the exercise, the sweat, the almost tears and I only lost 5.8lbs – not even 6? I had to remember this is reality and not The Biggest Loser. I was hoping for a double digit loss – maybe 10 or 15 lbs. It just wasn’t going to happen. Both Sarah and Mike reminded me that this is change for life, not just for a few months or weeks. I was told I was right on target with my weight loss. I do believe both of them but feel I can always work a bit harder to achieve a better number next weigh in.
Aside from being exhausted constantly, I do feel much better overall. I have even had to create additional notches in my belt to tighten it. All great signs! While looking in the mirror, I thought I saw my reflection flip me the bird and say “WTF? You ARE doing it! “Balls up. Abs tight. Do it and Shut Up!” My biggest lesson this week was learning that 90% of the process is mental preparation and stamina, at least for me. I can do this because I AM doing it.